It seems like around every corner that I turn, there is some sort of sugar or processed junk food being offered to my children. In our house we have tried to create a household that contains relatively healthy food choices but it is so challenging to maintain that type of lifestyle when the kids are constantly being offered sugar and junk. When the boys were really little and I had full control over what they were exposed to, we would go to the farmers market, visit the local farm to pick vegetables and see how food was grown. Then, birthday parties happened.
I didn't want to be the crazy strict mom that didn't let her kids have any sugar or participate in any of that fun stuff like popsicles in the summer and outings to the ice cream or donut shops. Honestly, I love that stuff and my relationship with sweets is that it is for fun and for special occasions or for special outings. It's not for everyday but it's fun to celebrate with sweets. I felt pretty good about this mentality until I read this article from Wellness Mama about how to get our kids to eat healthy food. She mentions that we need to alter the way that we look at sweets and treats and how they so often are used as rewards for good grades, good behavior, and other forms of inducing happiness. This can lead to developing an emotional eating relationship with food. Reading this made me stop and reflect on how I look at the sugar and sweets in my life. It's pretty easy for me to do without sugar on a regular basis but when I am in the mood to do something fun or add a little excitement to my life, I often do this by incorporating some sort of treat that induces happiness and excitement. I love the idea of using other types of activities as the rewards for good grades, good behavior, etc. etc. Inviting friends over, going to the movies as a family, and going on a bike ride are all fun alternative ideas.
My friend Merrick mentioned that she thinks it's important for kids to have a healthy relationship with food and sometimes that means having eggs or oatmeal for breakfast and but occasionally it might mean having a donut for breakfast. My first reaction was Nooooo, however as I reflected on this, I thought that perhaps this was a better idea than always having the donut be a reward for something. Maybe we can go to the donut shop or the bakery just because.
Ok, I'm straying a little bit. Here is my problem. Every since the birthday parties have happened, and there are a lot, and once the kids started going to school, they have become little sugar monsters. I admit that I let my guard down when we go to other people's homes or to parties and I just let them have whatever is offered to them. When grandparents come around, or we go to cousins' houses, they are always given treats and I have noticed that instead of being grateful for what is offered to them, they have begun to expect the treats and expect for these individuals to give them treats and I have been a little appalled by this.
We were facing another problem, where I was having to monitor what they ate. I purchased some "fun" items for their school lunches but then that is all they wanted to eat and would always ask me to eat those items and they were becoming even pickier about the dinner food that was given to them.
I have decided to tighten the reins a bit in our own home and to fill it with items that they can eat any time. I am hoping that this method allows for more autonomy and control on their part which reduces anxiety. I hope this creates less monitoring on my part as well. Children need to have a sense of control over their lives and over what and how much they eat. I have two boys that are 7 and 5 and they are going through growth spurts. I know they are hungry and they should be able to eat if they are hungry, so it is my job to make sure there are healthy nutritious options for them to choose. I'm sure that we will still have the occasional sweet, because let's not get too crazy now but altering the relationship with the treats is where I am right now.
I won't go into guidelines of what to eat and what not to eat. However, I will say that my best suggestion is to get rid of all unprocessed foods. By changing this one simple thing, you get rid of a lot of the excess salt, sugar, and unhealthy fat that plagues the Western Diet. This leaves you will still a lot to work with. You can still have meats if you choose to go that route, or you can do mostly vegetarian, or Mediterranean, or whatever suits you and your family but eat food, real food, not something that was made in a factory and has a year long shelf life.
I think Michael Pollan said it best in his book In Defense of Food, when he said, "Eat food, mostly plants, and not too much."
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